Irish Media incredulous at Electorate's capacity to think for themselves

Average 'No' Voter
The Irish Media was today trying to come to terms with the fact that 42% of the electorate defied conventional wisdom and voted against the Children Referendum. This comes despite a Yes campaign that was supported by all Dáil political parties, various children's charities, and Denis O'Brien Inc. while the No campaign was led by a bunch of delusional crackpots and professional soap box merchants. And Dana.

In a display of arrogance that would put Pádraig Flynn to shame, members of the media have been displaying their incredulity at the high No vote. Some have even gone so far as to describe No voters as "weird" and "uninformed". A nationwide inquisition is being planned to root out the fascist No voters and bring them to summary justice. 

It was no surprise that the highest proportion of subversive degenerates appears to be residing in Donegal, while in Cavan-Monaghan Sean Quinn received 57% of the vote and was deemed to be elected. The high No vote has led to much puzzlement within the media in general, which had predicted an overwhelming Yes vote based on the principle that a No vote was a vote in favour of child abuse and neglect. 

Waters - Brainwasher

John Waters, an advocate for the No vote and suspected child abuser, has come in for much scrutiny as to his motives. Some believe he was trying to rekindle a decades-old love affair with Dana, others suspect his motives were far less perverse. Either way, this greasy-haired weirdo will have to explain how he managed to brainwash 445,853 people into voting No.

With a legal challenge against the result expected shortly this story is likely to run and run, much like a 1960s Irish child trying to escape a parochial house. 

 Breaking News  Fianna Fáil offers John Waters position on party elections committee...